I'm back and sober

I've been away for quite a while...My trip overseas was fantastic. What a beautiful city Paris is. I didn't see nearly everything I wanted to see and I could have just stayed and idled the days away as it was. I loved the old buildings, the cafes, the beautiful public spaces, the gardens--the flowers were so beautiful. The monuments everywhere. It was truly incredible and I long to go back again.

Since I came back, I've had a couple of business trips (talk about jet lag) and catching up with my email lists alone took forever.

I also started Antabuse. I have lots of mixed feelings over this but I have 8 days sober, with the last two being relatively craving free (forget about the first few! Ugh.) My addictive voice is down to a whimper, trying to convince me to go off it just in time to drink for a big family event I have coming up this summer. I suppose that is better than trying to convince me not to take it until after the event and continue to drink. I do dread attending an event where everyone else will be partying without being able to partake myself but if not now for sobriety, then when? There is always some reason not to quit just yet, and the bottom line is that the amount I was drinking (at least one bottle of wine every night and sometimes more, always more if it was a weekend night). I really don't want to have to start all over again. And I can't deny that I feel great when I get up in the morning--well, maybe not great, but good. I think my body is healing and I've been a little more tired than usual.

Anyway, I take the pill in the morning and then the decision not to drink is made for awhile and I can concentrate on figuring out how to live sober. So it's working for me.