Sober on day 6
I appreciate the comment from Namenlosen Trinker. NL, I've actually been following your site for awhile now but have had trouble getting on lately.
I do realize that it's easy to start slipping by rationalizing that I feel strong today so I don't need to go. Lord knows, I've done that enough times in the last two years.
I often resent the time meetings take away from my family, but have to remind myself that I wasn't exactly with them when I was swilling wine in the kitchen while they were in the playroom.
Today, I had some intense cravings because I had to commute by boat, which has a bar. I had many wine soaked evenings begin with that bar. But I was able to use a lot of self talk and even a prayer to a higher power I'm not sure I believe in to keep me on the path. I am home and safe and sober tonight.
I also talked by phone to an online recovery friend who is in town here in Boston from Alaska and we are going to try to meet for coffee tomorrow. That will be a first. The phone call was a first! I've been trying to make this journey by myself for awhile now and it hasn't been working.
posted by Redhead Gal at 9:52 PM
2 Comments:
Hi, Redhead Gal! I'm glad you're getting a bit more support. It all helps. I attended Al-Anon for a long time, and like you had trouble with the 'Higher Power' bit, not being very religious (as you'll know if you've ever read my blog!). I developed a relationship with my Higher Self - a level of my own consciousness on a higher plane of existence. Whether real or imaginary, I began to believe in a 'higher me' and eventually developed a relationship I still hold dear to this day, even though I have not attended Al-Anon for some years. A bit like my own personal guardian angel, really. It just proves you don't have to be 'orthodox' and believe in a 'God'.
Definition of 'failure': a temporary inability to achieve a goal.
I have a feeling 2005 is going to be your year.
It was years years before I actually started wanting to go to meetings. But I was always told that there are only two times I should go to a meeting: (1) when I want to and, especially, (2) when I don't want too. It's simple, but that don't make it easy!
Namenlosen Trinker
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