Day 17

It's day 17 of sobriety and I finally feel like I am on the right track. The Antabuse is really helping; the choice to drink is taken away from me every morning so no more impulse drinking.

I am liking it for the most part. My addictive self was none too happy the first week but he's quieted down considerably (it's always a "he", I don't know why) and for the most part I'm doing just fine. I do have some trouble concerning my sister's upcoming wedding. Weddings are big parties in my family and not only do I have the wedding, but a "jack and jill" bridal shower (read: keg party) that the other bridesmaids insisted on. I plan to stay on the Antabuse, but the addictive voice keeps trying to plot my going off it in time to allow me to drink at these events.

I keep telling myself there is no reason that I can not have fun without drinking at the parties. The food will be the same, the music will be the same, the guests will be the same whether I have a drink in my hand or not. What will adding liquor give me but a momentary buzz and probably blackouts and hangovers?

Beyond the wedding, I have had dinner engagements both weekends since I quit, with another one happening this weekend. I've been letting people know I'm not drinking ahead of time, although I may not do that with these friends who are not likely to put any alcohol in the food (a big concern for me right now with the Antabuse).

Other than that, I'm just slogging along living my life. Have a terrible head cold today and stayed home from work.