Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Higher Power?

Why not group of drunks or good orderly direction or a doorknob?

I actually do believe that there is a power greater than me, although I'm not sure that is God. There are lots of powers greater than me--nuclear power, Dick Cheney, Mother Nature...
I just have a hard time believing that any power besides me will keep me sober. I have to do the daily choosing to be sober, no one can do that for me.

Can things outside myself facilitate my making the right choice? Yup. My online support group helps when I waiver. (check out www.unhooked.com for the website of LifeRing, an alternative sobriety group). Face to face helps if things get really sticky. So does reading recovery blogs on the web.

I read the Big Book and all I can see is evangelism--bringing the message of God to other drunks. I can see where work with others will help one's own sobriety. I can certainly see how a clear self evaluation and work at changing one's faults can help. I can see how serenity helps. I just don't see how God has to fit into all that. I just think if he's out there, he's got bigger fish to fry than to keep me away from a drink. I think he would tell me to get off my arse and quit drinking myself.

I dunno. I wish I could believe. I try, but I just feel silly talking to God every morning.

7 Comments:

Blogger dAAve said...

There are many atheists and agnostics in AA. We travel many roads to get sober and AA and its philosophies are one method.

I only know that in my case, I could NOT stop by myself regardless of the motivation. Once I accepted a HP and asked that HP for help, it was freely given.

Whatever works for you is your method.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Pam Jarnagin said...

I do believe in God's desire and willingness to be involved at a personal level in our lives if we ask, but I agree with you that the greatest source of help and power to stop drinking has to come from within. Can God help? Certainly. But, I think you're right - he wants us to get off our arses and help ourselves.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i've struggled with the god thing, too. prayer helped, interestingly enough. i asked to believe.

11:54 AM  
Blogger JJ said...

Hey Red...good to hear from you. I've missed you and glad you are hanging in there.
I see you,
JJ

9:59 AM  
Blogger Trudging said...

What ever works is right.

6:54 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

I wholly believe that we're jsut where we're supposed to be, right now. Glad you're still working on you.

One of the most helpful things I heard in my early sobriety was a speaker sharing his story. He related how he couldn't/wouldn't say "God" in his early sobriety. He had or came to his own concept of "God" and it was not "the God of our fathers" (neither is mine - I'm different, just like everyone else!). So, when talking with others in the program, specifically about things spiritual, he HAD to explain his concept of a higher power so no one would think he was speaking of "the God of our fathers." He said it took a long time to explain this everytime and he finally got to the point where it was just easier to say "God". He knew what he meant when he said "God" and that's all that mattered. That's where I am today. It's easier to say "God", but I know my concept of it is likely not even close to many to whom I have said the word.

Peace, Love, Happiness and all that warm fuzzy crap!

11:06 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

My first HP was a tree. Someone told me I couldn't have a tree it's been 10 yrs and they have drank many times during that 10 years. You have for your HP whatever it is that feels right and good for you.

1:49 PM  

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