January 3
Still hanging in there with the New Year's resolutions. Got up and on the treadmill at 6 AM. Stayed within my points total. And didn't drink.
Didn't get to a meeting today but I did go Sunday and last night. I picked up a 24 hour chip on Sunday for coming back and people were very welcoming, with one member bringing me around afterwards to meet some folks, and others offering up their favorite area meetings. Even ran into one woman whom I had known from when I used to go to meetings over a year ago.
Last night's meeting was also good. Ran into an old neighbor of mine who has a number of years of sobriety and was very welcoming. He was sympathetic about my problems with the HP notion and suggested the group of drunks approach. The meeting itself was okay. The speakers were hard for me to relate to as many had lower bottoms than I had. However, when they talk of not having feelings or drowning feelings with alcohol, I could relate.
Today, I couldn't make it to a meeting with the kids back in school, and homework and stuff, but I plan to go tomorrow. Phyllis over at Life on Whidbey also sent me some stuff to help with Step 1 and I plan to look at it this week.
I'm trying to keep an open mind here. I did get down on my knees and pray this morning and only felt slightly ridiculous.
posted by Redhead Gal at 10:24 PM
12 Comments:
I always feel ridiculous when I get on my knees. My cats come running to see what I'm playing with! Then trying to get up is quite a trial. So needless to say, I pray in bed. Hey, I'm 56, overweight and ridden with arthritis, give me a break!!
The step I sent can look overwhelming, but remember it is a beginning, and take the whole month to work on it. Take 1/2 hour a night or morning to work on it. Ask Faith over at 'A Lumbering Soul'. She worked them a year ago. You're doing great!
Hang on.
(by the way, a good read is 'A million little pieces'. Now he hit rock bottom!!
I've heard other people refer to GOD as ...
Good Orderly Direction.
The guy who wrote "A Million Little Pieces" has been sober 13 years, on his own. He does not like the Steps or AA, and that's fine with me. The end result is that he's sober. But he talks about many of the principles we use in AA (and other spiritual programs).
the big book says" Higher Power"not god. 3 things for Higher Power. it can't be me, it has to be bigger than me, and it has to want to help.
Any group of recovering alcoholics fits that for me. and no one in my group disputes that with me.
Hey Red - just checking in. Hope all is well.
I see you,
JJ
I'm starting sobriety again. The last time I tried—and failed—was in 2004. I lasted almost 3 months. I wasn't prepared for the cravings, didn't believe it would be difficult, and didn't have a support network.
I'm not a fan of either AA or RR. I do know that I always have a choice and I hope there really is strength available when I ask for it.
Thank you for talking about the cravings and the alcoholic voices — the tempting, cajoling, bargaining. They got the better of me then, but I'm prepared this time.
I also didn't want to admit that I can't ever drink again. It's been a constant most of my life, but now it's taken over. I don't know what's on the path of sobriety, but when I look at the one I'm on I clearly see what lies ahead.
Peace-Out
I'm still checkin on ya!
Hope all is fine your way!
Love ya!!
Hey Redheadgal~
Hope you haven't had time to write since Jan. 3 because you've been too busy going to A.A. meetings. I was resistant to Spirituality for much of my life and certainly early in sobriety. Finally getting over myself... letting go of my old ideas... and became willing to go to more lengths than were easy, felt comfortable or made sense to me... I have a design for living that works.
The point isn't about whether you believe in god or not... something created this world, universe and each of us. The point is about a relationship with whatever this is that helps us feel connected with our true self. People get all bent about "god" in Steps Two and Three for no good reason. Whatever idea of "god" (or "not god") you came in with never helped you feel good enough to stay sober... why would you try to use that concept once you've come into A.A., and are trying to learn a new way of living.
The whole point of A.A.'s Program of Recovery is to give you "a spiritual awakening as the RESULT OF THESE STEPS..."
When people are early in A.A. recovery (and I personally have no experience, interest or success with any of these other "half measures" people are peppering you with) there is no point in tripping about "god." Working the Twelve Steps of A.A. through the first 164 pages (NOT reading "A Million Little Pieces"... NOT doing all these "Step Guides"... and most certainly NOT relying on whatever idea of "god" or "not god" has failed to keep you sober in the past)... working the Steps out of the big book will give you (and actually cannot fail to give you) a relationship with whatever god is that will allow you to love yourelf beyond your wildest dreams.
Getting hung up about the "god thing" early in sobriety is a waste of time, and really just an excuse to stay miserable and defeated. Work the Steps and you will get introduced to a relationship with a higher power that you can't even understand right now... just work Your Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Get a Big Book, STUDY it with a sponsor and work YOUR Steps... NOT someone elses. You will be amazed before you are halfway through.
Hope you are well... or at least well enough to start taking care of yourself.
Yahooooooo Girl,
Getting on your knees when your not sure you believe is HUGE!!!! I am proud of you and am sorry I have been gone so long. You are gonna be alright, glad you made it back..
Love April
Maybe this is a ridiculous comment to make on this particular comment, but I'll pray for you.
I admire your determination to make your way in the world.
I am not giving up on you!
Like it or not, I am praying for you, so there!!
hang in there coming back in to check up on you
I see you posting on other posts, so I know you are around. That is a good thing.
Miss ya!
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