Audrey Kishline interview
A friend on one of the recovery email lists I belong to posted this transcript (link below) from a Dateline interview with Audrey Kishline that apparently aired last night. It moved me to tears. It is so scary to think that I could be Audrey Kishline. Her story sounds so similar to mine--keeping it functional, deluding myself that I had no problem because I could keep my job, house, family, quit during three pregnancies. And I've prided myself so much over the years about how at least I never drink and drive. And I didn't. But Audrey's story proves how we don't have control over any of that. It would be so easy for me to pick up the keys and drive off in a huff or a fit of anger after I've been drinking.
I remember checking out Moderation Management years ago when I first thought I needed to do something about my drinking. I never tried it because I just couldn't imagine going thirty days without alcohol. (That should have been a clue to get to AA.) Now I know that there is no way I'd be satisfied with 9 drinks a week. What's the point? Straining at the chains, is how the interviewer put it. He's right.
I came away from reading this article much more thoughtful about Audrey, who I previously dismissed as some sort of hypocrite. What a tragedy this disease is. No drink is worth anything--sobriety is key.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/
My friend wrote and I agree: If you are at all in denial about your addiction and think that perhaps you will be able to moderate, please do yourself a favor and read about her life. Moderation doesn't work if you are truly an addict. Learning more about Ms. Kishline will help you stop the denial and commit more to total abstinence. If we don't ever take the first drink again. If we can come to accept that addiction is not a character flaw but something we need to take seriously and nurture ourselves around, then we can then get to the job/joy of building sober/clean lives.
Today is day 14. I am grateful for:
Waking up hangover free.
Getting 8 hours of sleep finally.
My recovery email lists and the support I get there.
That at last night's AA meeting I was greeted by a woman who remembered me from previous attempts. I've admired her and am thinking I might ask her to sponsor me.
That I've got a rainy lazy day ahead of me.
That my new backsplash is finally installed in the kitchen and it looks pretty good.
posted by Redhead Gal at 9:15 AM
5 Comments:
How very true..I will check that link. For me what helps push the denial away is action and service.
14 days ..that is two weeks already!
keep doing what you are doing :)
Thank for sharing~
Hey, RG! My husband and I watched that show, and it was very difficult to watch, but very moving, too. I thought she showed a great deal of humility and courage to go back on national televsion and say that she was wrong. Except, she did say that Moderation Management might still work for those who were not "chronic" alcoholics. My husband and I talked about this, and we both feel like if you have to think about moderating your drinking, that's a sign that you are an alcoholic. It's a non-issue to people like my husband, who doesn't have a problem. He doesn't have to think, "Oh, maybe I've had enough." or "Maybe I should cut back." He just never, ever gets to a point where that even would come up. The whole concept of MM is alluring to those of us who ARE alcoholics because it holds out that false hope that we can control our drinking and drink like normal people. It's a bomb waiting to go off.
Great post Red and great that you nove 15 days now. I am proud of you, and Im so glad you have a sponsor in sight. I think between meeting and a sponsor, you are making some great decisions that will have an impact on your sobriety. :)
What a great post you have placed. We don't know moderation -- what is that? All or none it seems to be, trying to achieve a balance.
I remember too hearing that someone of my kind could NEVER drink agian. Scared the crap out of me. I could not get AA, for the 1st 2 weeks I was in it. So I entered a home, the only way I could start my sobriety. Something happened and I found my truth.
Thanks for posting this about AK. It sounds like her story really impacted you, for that I am grateful.
Big Hugs.
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