Gratitude Found after a Crappy Day

Today was a crappy day for me. I did a presentation for about 60 people and let my stage fright take over. (I am terrified to speak publicly but trying to get over it.) While I got through all the things that I wanted to talk about, I blew through it all in 30 minutes instead of the allotted hour in the program (it was part of a two day program). There were no questions after I finished up, so I was done way earlier than the program coordinators expected which threw them into a tizzy. It sure FELT like an hour up there on the dais. It was just awful.

My gratitude list for today:

1. The presentation was in the seaside town where my former babysitter lives so I stopped by to see her right after my presentation. She just had her fourth operation for what began as Stage IV colon cancer (when they discovered it) and has now spread. This last operation could not get at all the tumors. She is turning to an experimental treatment as a last hope. She has a two year old boy. She was diagnosed six weeks after he was born. How is that something to be grateful for me? It is a blessing to be shown right after a flop, that my problems don't amount to much in the scheme of things at all. Not at all. Thank you, HP.

2. After my visit, it was still light out so I went for a stroll on the beach (two days in a row..I'm doubly blessed). It was that late afternoon wintry light kind of time, although it was a warm day. The beach settles my soul like nothing else, except may be being in a church. (yes, being in a church calms me even though I'm not particularly religious). Or going to meetings lately.

3. After that I went Christmas shopping (blowing off the rest of the day completely work-wise). I managed to knock off a few presents and get myself a new pair of pants to boot. Retail therapy...ahh. I am blessed to be able to indulge occasionally.

4. I went to a meeting tonight (which is my sixth since last Monday) and there were great speakers who I got a lot out of hearing. Meetings really can be like medicine.

5. That it has been weeks--no, months--since I last awoke with a hangover.