Miscellaneous Musings
I've had a few things I wanted to post about this week but almost no time to do it.
First, I was called on to speak during a pick up meeting on Sunday of my group. I hadn't ever done this, but a woman there encouraged me to do so. I asked to be last on the list but she and the organizer put me first! I was terrified. But when I got up there, it was kind of amazing and the nervousness vanished and all I saw was supportive faces in the audience. I'm sure there were more than a few who wondered why I am there week after week without speaking. And it went okay. I don't remember a lot of what I said, but I was up there for a while and Karen, the woman who put me up to it, was ecstatic when I sat down.
Second, I think I'm going to ask Karen to sponsor me when I see her this Sunday. I still have been hanging back from that little task of getting a sponsor.
Third, I had one of those "you know you are getting used to being in the program" moments when I bought a cup of coffee yesterday and paid with a twenty, received 18 one dollar bills in change and thought "Good! 18 meetings."
Fourth, on the way home tonight, I was musing about my first love whose birthday was the other day. I haven't seen him in over twenty years (and never imagined I would ever say that). It's a long story but I often feel sad over the road not taken. (I ended the relationship. We were very young and I wanted to "experience life". HA! I realize now I wanted to party without him around putting a damper on things. Even then my disease was showing itself.) In any event, while I was feeling a little sad, a thought occurred to me--a certainty, a voice--that told me my life is exactly the way it's supposed to be and I'm with the person I'm supposed to be with. Wow!!! Revelation! I really felt it.
Anyway, tonight I am grateful for:
many months of no hangover mornings
a feeling that I am growing spiritually
that I don't have to drink anymore ever
that tomorrow is Friday and there is little planned for this weekend
that my husband is away for a couple of nights so I have some quiet after the kids go to bed
posted by Redhead Gal at 9:57 PM
11 Comments:
That is great you are building up to ask someone to sponsor you. I see that you have walked thru many fears already. Keep walking forward!
--a sponsor is good
--sharing is always good, too.
Peace, woman,
Scout
A sponsor can help you go places you have not yet imagined.
That is TOO funny about the 18 one-dollar bills.
Oh thank you for sharing Red.
You have got some great support out here too..Keep us posted :)
Good to hear you sounding solid! I dont get the 18 dollar bills thing! But then I'm British LOL
Excellant! I love to hear when people do the first speaking commitment. A experience that shifts our sobriety and pushes a bit more forward. Sounds like the perfect choice for a sponsor. Go for it!
Good for you for seeing 18 meeting rather than just 18 dollars
What a great post! enjoy that quiet time...I love it when husband is gone for a few days and I get to lounge around...
a sponsor is a good thing...this is a journey, don't go alone!!
18 ones, it's all about giving back. Yea!
I love that road-not-taken moment. Wish I could have one of those. I just found out my HS boyfriend sold his company for 200 million dollars, and my college boyfriend has a memoir coming out in the spring... given the past couple of years my husband has had, I have to admit I'm struggling to feel like I'm exactly where I oughta be. BTW Thanks so much for the spouse post; it took me a while to see it, but I really appreciate the insights. (Gender is interesting, huh?--I am TOTALLY wrapped up in my hub's sobriety... wish I could be a little more like yours!)
Congrats on the 5 months. Very inspiring!
It took me a year at meetings before I could speak without crying!
I left a few relationships for my drinking too. I think back and wonder if I'd be happily married with kids and a house....nah! I'd be divorced with nothing! I loved my drinking way too much!
How are you and your sponsor doing?
Thanks for the "Happy Birthday"! Egads, I am getting OLD!!!
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