Anti-Religion
One of the reasons I'm having a hard time getting back to AA is my utter loathing for religion. No matter what I hear, I've read the Big Book and this is a religion.
I was brought up a Roman Catholic and I live in the Boston area. I've been a cafeteria Catholic for as long as I remember. I like "Do unto others..." and I totally disagree with the church's teachings on birth control, abortion, and gay rights. Nonetheless, being from MA, where all the Catholics I know agree with me, I still could go to church and agree to disagree with the Pope. Then came Cardinal Law and the sex abuse scandal.
I have no respect left for the institution. I stopped going after about 6 months into how obvious it was the Law protected abusive priests at the expense of children. I thought about returning and then Law was given a cushy job in Italy by the Pope. Enough was enough.
Nonetheless, I've wanted to have my children get the sacraments and my son will make his First Communion in a few weeks. I had to go to a meeting about it tonight. They make you go to get your instructional folder--identical folders but with your child's name on it. It's like roll call, they can see whether you showed up for the meeting. It's the only reason I needed to go as the Communion ceremony hasn't changed one iota since my other two children were in it. I resent having to show up for it.
But I'm conflicted as to whether I even want my son to receive the sacrament anymore. Yet another priest is put on administrative leave here in MA today. More allegations in SC.
I'm very disturbed by all of it. And I'm not sure what to do. And the kids know that we don't go to church and I think are aware that we are just going through the motions. I dunno. Is it better to just let them drop out now and if they want religion when they are older, sign up then?
Oh and religious fundamentalism of the kind that supports
GWB really frosts me. It has alienated me even further from the Catholic church (which, despite the pedophile scandal is about to start an ad campaign against stem cell research. The nerve! The shamelessness of it all!)
posted by Redhead Gal at 10:58 PM
5 Comments:
I have exactly the same feelings RG. Brought up a Catholic, lapsed terribly. I did get my older kids through the sacrements and they chose not to keep up the faith in early teens. My youngest is baptized Catholic but I doubt I'll get him through the other sacrements. He doesnt go to Catholic school so I wouldnt want him to be different. There was also an element of schooling with the older ones. The Catholic education here is better. Shame! My experiences after that with the way my youngest was treated there has left me feeling very negative about it. Why not ask him what he wants? At that age its sometimes easier for them to 'fit in' and be like the rest of their classmates than maybe not and not really understand the 'adult' perspective? Its a ridiculous age to be making commitments like that and as you say they can still choose when they are older?
And its also the reason why I struggle with AA. I just cant get past the religous element. I like to think I can take positive things from many sources and religions. Maybe thats where I get it wrong!!! With you all the way on this one!
I had no God before sobriety. I do believe that AA is a spiritual program, not religous. I've had not problem developing a God of my understanding.
The phrase that got me over the hump was:
"Religion is for people who do not want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for those who have been there."
I really identified with that.
I used to be a Catholic, too. The hypocrisy of the church turned me off long before the sex abuse scandal. Now I can't believe there's anybody left. I also found the AA reliance on the religion-higher power thing a problem. We are not helpless and do not have to surrender our wills, in my opinion. The Quakers say the eternal light is within each of us, not on a higher plane or anyplace external.
Catching up on my blog-reading, which I fell way behind in.
I was not brought up Catholic. I was brought up religious, in a faith that resembles Catholicism in a lot of ways. Over the years, I grew very disillusioned. Any religion is inevitably a merely human institution, subject to all the same flaws as human beings have. When I found AA, it was like getting permission to have my own personal relationship with my Higher Power, according to my own conception. Not that I couldn't have done so before. But I was too full of shame and guilt to want to think much about my relationship with God.
Today, although I firmly believe AA is not a religion, I have found my religion in the rooms of AA.
That last comment was mine.
Namenlosen Trinker
Post a Comment
<< Home