Weekend Update
Things are going pretty well. Life sober is
better than life drunk though not trouble free by any stretch. I can't believe
it'll be six months in just ten days.
Last night I had a drinking dream and, although I'm usually a pretty lucid
dreamer, I struggled with trying to figure out whether this was happening in
real life or was it a dream. In the dream, I found myself at some kind of
gathering with a Budweiser in my hand. When I realized it, I struggled between
horror at the thought of losing my sober time--specifically having to count day
1 again--and the feeling of f*** it, who's going to know? It was like a devil
vs. angel struggle in my head. Then the lucid me started panicking, trying to
figure out whether I was dreaming or not. I awoke and had a great sense of
relief that it had been only a dream. I mean a real, deep down, to the bone
sense of relief.
Beer was never much my poison of choice, but I figure this must have stemmed
from a work gathering I attended on Wednesday night. On the spur of the moment, I ordered an
O'Douls. It was only okay tasting--my cranberry and ginger ale is much
tastier--but I didn't like the feeling I had standing there holding the glass of
what looked like beer and I swear I felt like I got a little tiny buzz from it.
My husband says there's not enough residual alcohol for that; that I must have
imagined it, but I really didn't like the feeling--I felt like my equilibrium
had been upset just a tad--and I won't be doing that again.
Which is all to say, that I really think sobriety is becoming a way of life with
me. Me? Uncomfortable holding a drink that looks like alcohol? Not liking the
feeling of my chemical balance being thrown off by alcohol? Huh??
It's all good. I wish I could say that about other areas of my life (job and
child issues going on at the moment) but overall my life has improved a lot
since I put down that drink finally last August.
Today I am grateful for:
Many days of hangover free mornings
The SNL short clip "Dick In A Box" that made me howl
Taking my mother grocery shopping today (being able to help out when I can)
The ability to sleep in on weekends
posted by Redhead Gal at 10:09 PM
14 Comments:
YES! I love this post Red and I am soo happy you are sharing a piece of your sobriety journey with us.
Keep doing what you are doing because it is working for ya:)
Thank you for sharing ~
oh and about that blackberry pecan ice cream..where might I find that?
Glad to see you still on track and enjoying it :-)
Yes, some people see using dreams as some sort of weird sign. I see them as an opportunity for great gratitude -- just like you did!
Keep up the awesome work!
Peace,
Scout
I think you are getting this! Little by little your life is improving. I am so glad that you can embrace this. Many times we can get obsessed with "I wish I had." If we step back and look at our lives today, we have so much.
Keep on seeing it. Keep on embracing your sobriety!
I think you are getting this! Little by little your life is improving. I am so glad that you can embrace this. Many times we can get obsessed with "I wish I had." If we step back and look at our lives today, we have so much.
Keep on seeing it. Keep on embracing your sobriety!
You've got it right, life sober is better than life drunk. You're doing great. Congratulation for your near 6 months.
Greeting from Malaysia.
Happy Valentines Day Red!
Happy Valentines Day and many more ~
I saw Dick in a Box too, and howled...
Interesting about the O'Douls and the dream... but don't worry it too much. Six months is a lot of time!
All best,
JennaM
Thanks for the post!
I tried O'Douls once and just couldn't get into it.
You are doing very well!
Six months yikes, time flys...congrats. Yeah, I hate those dreams, but I always learn something. Keep posting!
After 10+ years of sobriety, I still have a drinking dream once in a great while. Then I wake up, realize that it was just a nightmare, and am that much more grateful for my sobriety.
Peace,
Dharmashanti
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