Ouch

I am having a week full of fear, totally out of proportion to an oversight I made at work a couple of years that came to light. It really points up how full of doubt, fear, and insecurity I am, especially when it comes to my job. I have zero confidence in my skills, despite the outward trappings of success. I am always afraid--and I mean bone crushingly afraid, I couldn't get out of bed on Wednesday--of the "truth" being found out. Yup, I'm nuts.

I'm tired of living like this and I've really been trying to use the program to help. I am praying to my higher power, asking for help. I'm trying to keep it in the day. I've gone to meetings and reached out and received really wonderful support. The best I felt all week in fact, was at my meetings. I also finally made an appointment with a therapist to start getting to the bottom of this crap. I could easily have drank to drown these feelings this week which would have been my past MO.

Today I am grateful for:

No hangover this AM, yesterday AM and for many AMs before that

My Wednesday night women's meeting--God bless them all, they are the best

For the warm weather we've been having

That my husband is happy with his long longed for new boat

For fettucine with gorgonzola, asparagus and toasted walnuts (leftovers for lunch today)