Thursday, July 26, 2007

Get Back In The Car

Last night, at my women's meeting, the topic turned to staying in the moment. A number of people shared their tricks or mantras for bringing themselves back to the moment when their minds wander off to worrying about things that might happen in the future. I really needed to hear these things as I have a terrible time of staying in the moment and I'm really trying to put my focus in the day. One of the benefits of this is that it slows time down in a way...I'm paying attention to NOW instead of fearing the future. Still, it's a chore. The minute I am out of bed my mind starts obsessing over things I have to do at work, worrying about my parents, etc.

So I really appreciated the mantra this one woman shared. She described how she does a lot of her thinking in the car when she's driving her kids here and there. When she finds her mind wandering off, she tells herself "Get back in the car!" She now uses this line even when she isn't in the car.

I've decided to adopt this one as my mantra too. I have to laugh though. Another woman had described the issue as "keeping your head where your feet are". This morning, as I was out for my morning walk, where my head starts to swim with all the things I have to attend to, I kept mixing the mantras up so it came out some thing like "Keep your feet in the car!!!"

Today I am grateful for:

Many months of sober hangover free days

My women's meeting and the wisdom that is shared there

The flock of wild turkeys that are roaming my walking route (22 babies, and three adults)

July in New England

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Moving right along here

Things have been okay for me lately and seem to be rolling along pretty smoothly. At least on an emotional level. My siblings are fighting over the care of my elderly parents. I am not involved in the fight but I understand I drew a few zingers nonetheless. My job is still a source of anxiety for me and negative feelings about myself. But somehow, it is all rolling off my shoulders today. I have been practicing staying in the moment and doing what's in front of me. And I believe it will all work out with the help of my HP.

Today I am grateful for:

months and months of hangover free mornings (11 months on Friday!)

that I became teachable through AA

that I've been getting up at 5:30 AM to get a walk in before work, as well as a swim in the pool afterwards

that I lost 3.5 pounds since I started doing it

that I don't crave alcohol every day like I used to

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

On old Cape Cod

I was on vacation last week in a beloved place, Cape Cod. I used to live there many years ago and never feel so relaxed as when I get to the beach there, stick my feet in the sand and go "ahhhh". It's also the scene of a lot of my drinking over the years and being back there sober was interesting. My friends there have toned it down some on the drinking so it was not too difficult to stay sober but I did miss the beers on the beach a little.
Above is the place where we kept our boat for the week. We boated to a sandy beach nearly every day. There was only one rainy day all week. We did go karts with the kids, went to Chatham to shop and see the seals on the beach, and got some clams. I ate lots of clams last week.

Today I am back to work but I am grateful for:

Many mornings of no hangovers

That I am blessed to be able to take vacations, particularly Cape Cod vacations

For sand, sea, and blue sky

For clams, fireworks, ice cream, old friends, and new friends

For a sober vacation