Monday, August 27, 2007

gratitude list

Today I am grateful for:

Waking up sober every morning for more than one year

The Indigo Girls

Mangoes

Getting my medallion yesterday and all the love and support at my home group

Warm weather and nekkid swims in the pool in the early morning

A very funny book I am reading called "Dirty Job"

That because I am sober, I can remember the chapter I read last night at bedtime

Hell, that I was able to read at bedtime instead of just passing out

Monday, August 20, 2007

One Year Today


Today marks one year sober for me. It has been one year since I crawled in the door of what is now my home group for the third time, after a week long drinking binge that I called a family vacation. There are pictures from that vacation that include me, but I cannot remember being there as I was in a blackout. I still burn with shame if I happen across them.

But today is not a day for shame and remorse. It's a day to celebrate!

Today I am grateful for:

One year of hangover free mornings. How did I ever stand the hangovers for so long?

The personal/spiritual growth I've experienced in the past year

AA and all the support I receive there

My online sober buddies, both bloggers and the secular sobrietists over at the Lifering site

That I am present in my life today

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Squirrelly



I am feeling squirrelly of late, having lots of drinking thoughts and drinking dreams. I don't know if it's connected to my upcoming one year in a few days or what. Certainly, the addictive voice likes to tell me that now that I've gone one year, of course, I can have the occasional red wine with dinner or Margarita. After all, it was white wine that gave me so much trouble...just stay away from that!

My head is a bad neighborhood lately and recovering from surgery has kept me in it too much. I've only gotten to a meeting and a half since surgery. I will get to one tonight. I am feeling much better now, though still a little weak if I sit in one place too long. I will be back at work tomorrow. My boys come home from camp this weekend. Life should get back to being busy and that helps me get out of this bad neighborhood.

Today I am grateful for:

Many mornings of waking up without a hangover. (This is so tops on my list!)

That I recovered well from the surgery, though a little slower than anticipated.

That when I get squirrelly I know what to do

That my Dad is doing really well lately. Saw him yesterday and he had the old spark in his eye.

For Ann Lamott, whose books I've been enjoying during my lay up

For a beautiful August day that I can enjoy before I head back to the office tomorrow.

Life is good.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Surgery



I had my gall bladder removed on Monday and I've been recovering since. It was keyhole (laparascopic) surgery so my recovery is faster but my surgeon wasn't kidding that it's still major stomach surgery. Ouch, I've been sore. I've taken painkillers as prescribed and mostly they just made me sleep. Never was one to abuse narcotics; I liked the speedy drugs. Today, I just took Tylenol.

Tonight is my first outing--I plan to go to my women's Living Sober meeting. I won't stay the whole time if I don't feel up to it. However, I've missed my meetings this week.

Today I am grateful for:

Many mornings of no hangovers

That the pain I've had in my side for a number of years turned out to be my gall bladder and not liver damage from drinking

That the surgeon said my liver looked great

That things are quiet at work this week so I am able to rest and recover